please come you make the beer taste better
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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