No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Randomize
