This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
