Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Randomize
