Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
