he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
