Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
