i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
