dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
