he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
