What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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