I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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