Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
