oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
