if i can run in heels then i can drive
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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