i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
