oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We were destined to go to rehab together
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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