Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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