So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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