I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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