I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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