U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
