You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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