no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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