We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He is an equal opportunity slut.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
