Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Randomize
