I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
