You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you traded sex for a burrito?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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