I love black thongs
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
