So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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