I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
