absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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