I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
