Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
