Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
did you just send me my own nude
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
