Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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