how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize