Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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