That's when you crack a 10am beer
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm at about main and main street
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Randomize
