So drunk, too bad you don't want this
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
