she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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