there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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