Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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