Having a random hookup so left but love u
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
