either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
