It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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