Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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