I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
