Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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