Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
