Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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