her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There r osticjed everywhere
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
